Trying to stop temper tantrum behaviors can be one of the
most stressful experiences for a parent. Without putting a stop to them,
however, the child usually learns to use these terrible outbursts to get
attention, to rebel, to try to exert control and power, or for numerous other
reasons. So parents need to come to grips with the phenomenon of tantrums
before they become held hostage to them – which only adds more stress and
strain to the situation.
But in order to stop temper tantrum outbursts it is
important to first understand that most tantrums are not triggered by just one
single event or episode. What is generally more typical is that the child who
throws a tantrum does so after a long accumulation of frustrations. These
remain pent-up inside until eventually the child lets loose and expresses it in
an uncontrollable fashion. So rather than trying to trace the tantrum to
something that just happened, it is often more effective to just realize that
the tantrum is the tip of the iceberg or a symptom of frustration and feelings
that have been building up for some time.
Here are some ways to minimize that build-up, and therefore
help to stop the tantrums from happening:
▪ Make sure children
have enough rest, are well fed and not hungry, and did not accidentally skip
their nap because many tantrums result from those simple things.
▪ At the first signs
that the child is getting irritable, consider what to do to make the child feel
better. That may nip the tantrum in the bud before it has a chance to escalate.
▪ Minimize stressful
environments, because when kids are exposed to too much stress they can become
overwhelmed – just like grown-ups do.
▪ Be attentive, let
the child know you are there for them, and make sure they know that you are
listening to their concerns. Sometimes if a child feels ignored he or she will
throw a tantrum as a last resort to get heard.
Once the parent succeeds with changing the toddler’s
behavior or effectively controlling these emotional triggers to stop temper
tantrums, both the parent and the child feel better. But don’t wait until it is
too late to implement these suggestions, because to stop tantrums the source of
the tantrums has to be addressed in advance, and on a day to day basis.
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